Gonna Give It Our All
by Happy Little Writer
Summary: Roxas is a teenager with multiple personality disorder, living his life in an asylum. All he wants to do is find the boy he loves...Until his older psychiatrist is replaced with an amazingly kind man. Rated for later chapters. yaoi/Akuroku/implied RokuVen


[A/N+ I finally finished the first chapter of this story. /wipes away a tear/ I really loved it once I started writing; at first I never got past the second PB…so here it is. Gonna Give It Our All.]

Stop, please- the pain hurts so much. Why would you do this? That hate, the glimmer of anger and sadness in your eyes is killing me.

I love you. I love you and I always will.

**The pain you bring on yourself kills me. You want to fight? I'll give you a fight…**

"I-I only want…to find myself." The words are stuttered out, almost whispered to myself like a mantra as the mirror fogs up.

The sink is overflowing; scalding water overflows to the ground, burning my bare feet. The pain is never enough to make me react, nor will it ever be. I want to see you; I want to explain my feelings and kill the ball of despair in my stomach.

This place…this place is too much. It's too hard to handle. I don't enjoy this feeling of loneliness, the knowledge that you let me be put here. You put me here, because you said I was unstable. That it wasn't healthy, for…them to talk. Them, the others. The other voices, the other people. There are only three others, only three more people in my head. I can feel them, constantly fighting for control. But this is my life. I can't let them win.

They'd kill you, or at least Vanitas would. I can feel the pulsing…that dark evil inside that wants to kill you for what you've done. I'd never do that, you know. I love you; I could never want to hurt you. You know that, right?

Roxas sighed and sat on his pale blue bed, staring out the small square window. Surely sometime soon they'd realize he was, in fact, perfectly fine. He felt the cool humming of the IV hooked to his arm, ready to pump anesthesia into him if his heart rate so inclined.

There was a knock at the door. A silhouette, blurred by the frosted safety glass windows, swayed ever so slightly. The blond could make out oddly, preposterously large hair, a very tall stature indeed.

The door opened.

In walked the doctor. He knew this, of course, was not _his_ doctor. _His_ doctor was shorter, blonder, and_ tamer._ Nothing alike this passionately colored creature. The hair was, yes, large, but not like he had expected. Instead of some sort of retro ball of puff atop the slim face, there was a multitude of amazingly fiery spikes, each shooting into a different direction but catastrophically fitting the man all the same. And what a man he was. His face was chiseled as finely as possible; the cheekbones were sharp and marked with, what he could see, teardrops. Weren't those what was given to jail mates when they killed someone? The eyes above these dark inks were even more beautiful. Deep set and shining, the brilliant acid green gave off a shimmer, as if they were on fire.

This doctor was one of the most amazing people he had ever seen.

"Hello, _Roxas_." The way his name was hissed sent a small shiver down his spine that could be blamed on the freezing temperature in the room. Roxas nodded slightly, not daring to open his mouth, lest one of the others take over.

"My name is Dr. Bassi. It seems your last doctor…Dr. Aquis is no longer, in service here. But I promise, I'll try to fill his place as well as I can." The blond boy had started to nearly lose it, just staring up at him incredulously. He kept his mouth shut and fumbled with his fingers, not understanding how to greet the new doctor. After a whole year in isolation due to a…misunderstanding, he was nearly mute. The red haired man tilted his head. Of course he would know of this; what kind of mental health doctor didn't read the files on his new patients?

"I understand that you don't talk much; I hope I'll be able to help with that," Dr. Bassi said, slowly walking toward the IV. "I also hope to get rid of this…Thing. It's not doing you any good to numb you." The head of blond spikes twitched slightly.

"…You…sound like…Demyx…" He whispered slowly. His voice sounded weak to even himself, from so much disuse. The red haired man grinned. Roxas liked that smile, how his startlingly white teeth shone from behind thin lips. A small smile graced his own lips and he tried his best to meet the fierce acidic orbs.

"I'm here to make sure things are as good for you as they can be, Roxas. Helping you get better is all I want." A soft blush tinted his cheeks. Why was he reacting this way? He loved… A surge rushed through him and he flailed as best he could with his small limbs.

_[__!]_

The line of thoughts kept going. That is, until a strong, warm hand landed on his shoulder and held him down. The bright blue eyes belonging to the blond opened wide, his pupils dilated as he abruptly stopped moving, breathing hard. The doctor had stopped his episode? That was near_ impossible_. Not even his best friend, the closest person to him, beside the **Others,** could stop an episode of trying to fight off Vanitas.

"Roxas? Roxas, can you hear me?" The worried tone in the lovely, smooth voice he had was marvelous. It almost sounded like he cared. He should thank him for that, really…

Roxas nodded and chewed on his lip, a nervous habit adapted from Sora. It had been a while since Sora had spoken. He promised himself to check up on the sweeter side of himself.

The anesthesia had started to drip through the IV tubes, numbing his senses. "I-I'm sorry, doctor," he whispered quietly, thinking he had disappointed the beautiful man on his first visit to the boy. The warm hand moved from his rigid shoulder to ruffle the soft, golden hair on his noggin.

"Call me Axel, Roxas." A gentle smile graced his features as he rocked on his heels, standing up. Roxas whimpered, very quietly. The kind man was leaving too soon. Dr. Bassi- No, Axel- waved to him, still smiling the sweet smile as he opened and shut the heavy door.

Roxas lay there, staring at the ceiling until lights out, simply contemplating the man with the wild red mane and interesting tattoos.

That night he had the first dream in three years, lying on his back for the first time in five.

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